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Polarization of the Sexes
This workshop is about revealing the importance of balancing both male and female energies. Polarization can occur on 3 different levels, self or inner level, in relationships and on a social level. I’ll start with the importance of polarization in the self.
Inner Polarization
Inside us we have a male and a female aspect. Carl Jung has called them Anima (the feminine) and Animus (the masculine). It is important to stress the terms feminine and masculine here because there is a difference between what is known as “sex” and what is known as “gender.” In Psychology, sex represents the biological category or ‘what’s between your legs’ and gender represents a cognitive or social category, or ‘what’s between the ears.’ The recognition of the difference between these two aspects is very important in Psychology and has helped shed light on why people feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body and vice versa. It not only helps us understand homosexuals and lesbians, but helps us empathize with those who are transgendered or hermaphrodites.
The male and female aspects get confused because society has placed rules on how a male should act and how a female should act. The rules placed on women have become too limiting causing unhappiness in women who do not want to be at home and taking care of the house. Feminism has shed light on this and has forced a change in the rules of society. If it weren’t for feminism this wouldn’t have happened. However, this lecture is about the balance between the two so to me, feminism is too extreme or one-sided. This, of course is out of balance, but nature works in this way. For example after effects work like this if you stare for a long time at a blue piece of paper, you will start to see a yellow glow around it. These are the complimentary colours. Notice I said complimentary and not opposite or opposing and are set up in balance (so goes for black and white, and red and green. Also, staring at a waterfall for a long time and you look away you see an upward movement. Or when you stop the car after driving for a long time you see the pavement move.
Following this principle, the upsurge and freedom of women, men have bounced back and created a masculinism movement. But it brings up the point that some men aren’t happy with their social restrictions. For example, boys are taught not to cry and express emotion. This causes an imbalance in emotional control or unhealthy levels of neuroticism. What’s happened since men are raised to control their emotions is a condition called Male Normative Alexithymia: Lexi meaning without, and thymia meaning emotions. This is when emotions get pushed inside and can build up and come out in inappropriate ways and at inappropriate times. For example “Rubber band Syndrome” is when unrecognized emotions build up until they erupt in an explosion of anger, and excessive strength and aggression. This one is a concern for relationships, not only because the woman can be on the wrong end of the aggression, but women tend to see expressed aggression as a temporary loss of control and men see it as a way of establishing control.
“Tin Man Approach” is when unrecognized emotions are locked up so tightly that the man no longer feels anything. This has negative effects on health as a consequence. The Emotional Funnel System is the banning of all vulnerable emotions such as hurt, disappointment, fear and shame that are considered or programmed into the man that are unmanly and feminine. So, instead of identifying and expressing these emotions, they get funnelled into anger. As for gentle or tender emotions such as fondness, love, sensitivity and sexuality some men repress these because they are supposed to be for women. As a consequence, when these feelings rise up, they get interpreted incorrectly and experienced as unconnected lust. For example, if a guy has a feeling of fondness for his best friend, who is also a guy, this feeling gets interpreted as lust because all tender feelings must be sexual and he ends up thinking he’s having sexual feelings for his friend. These confused emotions get embedded and come out as homophobia. Due to the repression of these positive or tender emotions in men, men are unable to label and interpret there emotions properly, potentially creating these problems (Mitterer, 2007).
Another thing that happens is something that Wilhelm Reich discovered and calls body Armour. What happens in the case of body armour is that when boys are stifle crying, their muscles tense up and their lips purse shut. If this is repeated often enough, it tells or cues the body to react this way automatically. When the body acts this way automatically, it then gets encoded into the personality.
Now, a lady masseuse whose last name is Rolph discovered something very interesting while she was giving massages. As she loosened up these tight muscles, the clients began to cry for no reason. They were unable to attribute their crying to any particular cause. Our bodies want to keep a balance and when certain emotions are repressed, the body’s homeostasis become out of whack.
Therefore, due to the socialization of men and women in these gender categories has caused women to be miserable and rise up, and men to lack in emotional balance or intelligence. It must be known that there are no certain characteristics that are only for men and no particular characteristics only for women. It is up to our generation to raise our children without gender stereotypes and produce healthy well adjusted adults. If the emotions get released in a proper way, the body is relaxed and healthy and if the body is healthy, so is the mind. Emotional regulation produces good physical and mental health. The body affects the mind and the mind effects the body and emotions help regulate the balance. There are some questionnaires here that can tell you if you are classically feminine, masculine, or androgynous which is a healthy balance of both. So, that’s inner polarization. Let’s move on to healthy relationships.
Polarization in relationships
I highly recommend completing inner polarization before you enter into a relationship. If both parties in the relationship have polarized their inner anima and animus, then the chances the relationship will last increase. Many relationships fall apart because one person hasn’t gotten to know themselves properly and begin to go in a different direction spiritually or mentally or physically during the relationship as a consequence.
It must be known that the accepted definition of reality is that all matter and energy interact and everything affects everything else. Therefore, we live in a world that is in constant flux and nothing or no one is ever exactly the same twice. You can make up a marriage contract, but if you say in it that you want everything to stay the same you are setting yourself up for failure. Many couples who go in for counseling say “what happened to the man or woman I fell in love with, I want things to be like they were.” Well unfortunately things are never the same and it is impossible to keep anything the same, even from moment to moment. People will grow and change due to new experiences and knowledge learned. If a couple is smart, they will understand this flux and accept each other for who they are at any given moment. They must be able to continue their personal growth without chains and expectations. If the personal growth of the two people in the relationship is in relatively the same direction, the more successful the relationship will be.
Hinduism teaches that there are many roads to enlightenment and each person discovers it in their own way. So, one person’s path may not be good for another and even if the paths are different, the end goal should be the same. Therefore flexibility in belief and action should be respected in a relationship. My personal formula is each person needs alone time and together time and the guy needs the guys night out with friends and the girl needs the girls night out with her friends.
So, there also needs to be a balance between men and women to create a healthy relationship. Unfortunately the damage for adults and their socialization of gender stereotypes is already done. So, you will be with men who are aggressive and dominating or you will be with women who are emotional and irrational. To work with the current dilemma of those who are already damaged by gender stereotypes, the characteristics or strengths of women should be utilized when appropriate and the characteristics or strengths of men should be utilized when they are appropriate. Not only one person should be in charge of everything. The decision making should be delegated according to strengths. If he knows about fixing stuff around the house he can be in charge of getting that stuff done. If the woman knows more about cars she can be in charge of getting that done etc. What I have found to be the most important distinction between men and women is that men are rational and women are intuitive. It should be recognized that in some situations, it is better to be rational, and in some situations it’s best to listen to your gut.
The most important thing to know about relationships is the principle of habituation. It works very much like an aftereffect but it’s more like when you see or are exposed to a new thing you display what’s called an orientation response. Like a cat when it sees a mouse will freeze and become excited. But after the 27th time of being exposed to that same thing the response gets less and less until there is no response anymore. It is important to be aware of this principle when it comes to relationships because when you first meet the person everything is shiny and new, then after a while the excitement gets less and less until you see them everyday and you become habituated to that person. When this happens you tune them out or become bored with the relationship. This is a natural reaction and is built into us (Tyson, 2006/07). To avoid this situation, keep a never a dull moment rule. My boyfriend, who is now my fiancée asked an 80 year old man how he stayed married for 50 years. He said we never stopped dating; I never stopped bringing her flowers. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is come home and watch TV everyday or get into a routine, this quickly wears at the relationship. Keep a good balance between routine and spontaneity and remember that no characteristic or behaviour has to strictly belong to the man and no certain behaviour has to be only for women. This brings us to the polarization of the sexes within society.
Societal Polarization
As stated before, the socialization of gender stereotypes must not be perpetuated further. When one is unhappy in their stereotyped role, it creates something called gender role strain. If someone is unhappy with their role, they should be allowed to change it and pursue the things that make them happy. For example, have any of you heard of Malsow’s Hierarchy of Needs? It is the idea that once basic needs such as food and shelter are taken care of we are able to pursue higher needs such as recognition, emotional security and eventually at the top of the pyramid, Self Actualization. Self Actualization is defined as the right to unfold oneself and become the person they wish. Everyone should have the right to unfold themselves and achieve self actualization. Gender roles have in the past prohibited individuals of achieving or striving for this goal.
Why do gender roles persist in society and how did they get that way in the first place?
Well, there was a time when men and women lived together in peace and harmony. Around 14th and 15th centuries AD Folklore and Folk Culture reined in the small suburban towns. There were parades and rituals such as dances for the gods to bless the crops and in these festivals women wore bells on the shoes and danced in a parade. The Celtic Goddess Sulas and the Goddess Minerva of wisdom and good health were among them. Women were also the physicians so to speak and were in charge of the sick and gathered and produced medicines from plants and roots in the area. They were also involved in child birth and midwifery duties to ease the pain. They did all this among household duties and women were happy in these roles until around the 16th century when the Romans began to take over and forced all peoples to conform to their religion. The Romans did however, believe in an Earth Goddess, but began to propagandize the women’s role and power to be dark, evil and corrupt. The goal was to make people fear women’s power.
The advent or induction of the Roman Inquisition allowed the Romans to execute at will, the people who did not conform to their religion. The Romans, using Folklore to their advantage made the townspeople believe that the crops are scarce due to the presence of witches. A witch was any person practicing medicine and midwifery without an education. Because this was the women’s duty and women were denied education, 85% of the 9 million estimated to have died in the witch burnings were women. If there was ever genocide on women, this was it. Women’s role was diminished and men began to dance in the festivals and men were assured the position of physician and midwife.
The propaganda of the women’s power included demeaning and making anything to do with women’s power evil. For example, the medicine in which they made from gathering plants and berries became synonymous with the witches evil potions. The witch burnings began on October 31st, which has become known as Halloween, a ritual said to be evil, and one of the main costumes is an ugly witch. Women’s menstruation used to follow the 28 day cycle of the moon, and on the new moons women used to gather together and sing dance and chant. It was a time of fun and celebration. Due to the large number of women gathered, their power was strong and a stop was put on these gatherings. Venus is the planet represented by women and its cycle in the sky forms the 5 pointed star or pentagram, which also became synonymous with evil and devil worshiping and since the common interpretation is that women caused the fall, we should be punished and beaten out of the charity of our souls (according to the movie “the burning times). Also because childbirth is supposed to be painful, midwifery, which eases the pain of childbirth was frowned upon. The age of science also came out of this movement ensuring that anything to do with feeling or women’s intuition was taken out of the picture and deemed irrational and useless.
But why? Why would the Romans do such a thing? Why the slam on women? Well, this is the part that I have been researching for 7 years now and most people do not want to hear or believe. The truth may set one free, but offend many in the process. So if any of you are offended by any of this, feel free to leave and or research it yourself.
The dilemma can be traced back to the time of Jesus. The term Messiah is literally translated into “political revolutionary.” The duty of the Messiah was to free the Jews from the Roman rule. Jesus was actually a zealot and was to lead them into the revolution against the Romans. Of course this made the Romans and the Orthodox Jews who were profiting from the Roman structure very uneasy. Why else do you think it took a cohort, which is 50 men to take Jesus away!? The Orthodox Jews and the Romans already practised patriarchy and supported the idea that women were inferior, but Jesus set out to destroy that notion. He actually advocated for equality between men and women as well as the notion that the kingdom of heaven is inside us. Jesus actually coined the term “Know thyself” it is found throughout his teachings from the Gnostic Gospels found at Nag Hammadi in 1945. Both the ideas (finding God and enlightenment within the self and equality of the sexes) were very threatening because if the body is a temple and you could find God by knowing yourself, people did not need to go to the church and give money to the church. On an off note it may be interesting to know that the Catholics tell their followers that not attending church is a moral sin. The equality of men and women is also a threat because it was taught by Jesus that polarization of the sexes is how to enter the kingdom of heaven. This too leaves the institution of the church in the dust and renders it useless. Here are some quotes from the codices found at Nag Hammadi that show Jesus was an Egalitarian which is a political term for the equality of the sexes.
Gospel of Philip
"If the female had not separated from the male, the female and the male would not have died. The separation of male and female was the beginning of death. Christ came to heal the separation that was from the beginning and reunite the two, in order to give life to those who died through separation and unite them.
When Eve was in Adam, there was no death. When she was separated form him, death came. If she enters into him again and he embraces her, death will cease to be.
It is very important to understand this passage! This is the redemption of the fall and death that humanity has endured. The male and female energies have been separated and need to be brought back together. In order for them to be brought back together, the man has to embrace her. If we live in a culture that suppresses women and believes that women are flawed and inferior, we can never reach the kingdom of heaven.
This is the plan of those who want to control humanity. We can’t have people becoming free thinkers, and reaching the kingdom of heaven because they wouldn’t make any money! If the fall was the separation of the male and female aspects and is what the serpent has done to keep rule over the Earth and of human’s consciousness, then their reunion would end the cycle. So the serpent will continue to reign here on Earth as long as men and women don’t get along or unite properly. When man and wife unite in the Bridal Chamber, which is the symbol of this reunion, it is what threatens Satan the most.
Here is more evidence that Jesus advocated the union of male and female as part of our redemption. From the Gospel of Philip
“The father of all united with the virgin who came down, and fire shone on him. On that day that one revealed the great bridal chamber, and in this way his body came into being. On that day he came forth from the bridal chamber as one born of a bridegroom and a bride. So, Jesus established all within it, and it is fitting for each of the disciples to enter into his rest.”
Rest is our inheritance, the true treasure of heaven
Jesus knew the importance of the union of male and female energies and therefore established “all” in the idea of the bridal chamber. This is why he said one could not enter the kingdom but through him and his message.
Many disciples didn’t want to accept the idea of making women equals. Orthodox Judaism has established teaching that disallows women to know or read the scriptures. So, Jesus’ teachings were shocking to many and were disputed often. For example, in the Gospel of Thomas, Simon Peter says:
Mary should leave us, for females are not worthy of life. Jesus said “Look, I shall guide her to make her male, …every female who makes her self male will enter heavens kingdom.
What is meant here is androgyny and it works both ways because also in the Gospel of Thomas it says:
If we become like children, shall we enter the kingdom… when you make the two one and when you make the inside the outside, the outside the inside…and the upper the lower and when you make the male and the female into a single one, so that the male is no longer male and the female is no longer female…then you shall enter the kingdom.
The keys to heaven again appear to be through the Bridal Chamber which is the sacred marriage or union of male and female.
Even the Book of Mormon mentions something about this!
They constituted the male and female, and when brought together in the Ark they did indeed manifest their unified Light and Perfection.
Why did Jesus teach equality between male and female in the first place? Well it is not a new idea, that there is a sacred union of male and female. Every major religion in the world’s God or Diety is or was a male and female union.
Ancient Egyptian
Triangle = male
Inverted triangle = female
Together = the star of David
Judaism
"On the day that God created Adam, in the likeness of God He created him, male and female He created them. He blessed them and called their name Adam...Genesis 5:1-2
Talmud "Any man who does not have a wife is without joy, without blessing, without goodness.
Ancient Kabbalah
From the Zohar - Blessings are found only where male and female are found. A human being is only called Adam when male and female are as one."
In all Kabbalistic writings God" makes up both T'firet (male) and Shekkhinah (female) entities.
Muslim
Koran (chapter XLII)
"And when He wisheth to separate them He causedth an ecstasy (or trance) to fall upon Microprosopus, and separateth the Woman from His back. And He conformeth all Her conformations, and hideth Her even unto Her day, on which She is ready to be brought before the Male.(1028-1029) And when they are associated together , then are They mutually mitigated in that day on which all things are mitigated. And therefore are the judgements mitigated mutually and restored to order... (v1039).
Taoism / Buddhism
The yin yang represents the male and female attributes fused into a unifying symbol
Hinduism
Lots of male/female union symbolism ;) if you know what I mean nudge nudge wink wink (see Kama Sutra). One way enlightenment is reached is through sexuality and orgasm, according to the Hindu tradition. Also, the male God = Shiva and the Female God or feminine energy of the universe = Shakti are husband and wife.
To tie it all together and reveal to you the real reason why the Romans feared the power of women, was not only because the union of the male and female would put them out of business and cause them to lose their control over humanity, but Jesus himself passed the right of continuing Christianity to Mary the Magdalene – a woman. Scholars all over the world cannot and do not deny this rite of passage to Mary. She was the first one that Jesus came to after the resurrection and it is to her that he said to minister to the other disciples giving her the title “ the Apostle to the Apostles.” This is the real reason why millions of women were killed and the power of women was suppressed. Thank you.
